I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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