the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
