direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
