please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
