i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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