she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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