I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize