dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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