i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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