Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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