No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
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dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
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He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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