i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
you told grandpa to call you daddy
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize