whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
