So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
