There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
