Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
