Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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