i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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