It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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