Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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