omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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