once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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