so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
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people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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