I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize