i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
