Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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