My nipple is on Facebook.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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