I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
