nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
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