i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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