I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
