This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
