and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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