i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
she told me i tasted like america
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
