remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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