he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
