my vag is so smooth its legendary
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
soo... how was my night?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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