Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
