today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
