If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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