About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
