best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
