Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize