Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
