im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize