Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Randomize
