So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
