you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
