You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
whose ass print is on the piano?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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