So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
