Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Randomize
