brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
