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Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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