We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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