So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
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She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
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I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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