Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
is wine microwaveable?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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