I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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