the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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