ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
