Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
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And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
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I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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