my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
you never un-have a 4some
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
