We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
